I'm older now and it seems that one of its benefits is that I am finally becoming the person I should always have been. I'm quieter, happier, less impulsive (that one takes effort), less stubborn and a lot more considerate. I don't see too many of the 'old gang' anymore... nice people but far too young to be any kind of a support structure!.. and that has helped me to find my inner peace. I now only spend time with people I care about and who care about me. As soon as I see a glimpse of arrogance, anger or plain rudeness I'm off in the opposite direction without a word of protest or hint of disappointment. It's nice not to hear the sound of my own voice complaining... to quote a friend, "my dark passenger has finally left me."

Anita Fran has helped. I met her when she was one minute old and I knew about her many months before that. She was a welcome distraction late last year and a joy to be with these past few month. She makes me behave. She makes me think of anything but myself. She only has a few communication tools: she cries when she's hungry and smiles when she sees me. She has taught me a lot and I am better for it. I can't find the words to describe how that feels. She leaves Australia for good in a couple of weeks with her mother and grandmother. I'm trying to adjust to not having them around so I'm metering my visits. There are five reasons why I'm still here. When they leave there will only be two. I will miss them all but I will miss her the most.